Behind the Mask: Understanding Autism Masking and How to Foster Authenticity
Updated on January 2, 2025As humans, we all mask our true feelings at some point in our lives; the problem is when masking behavior becomes part of our daily routine. People with autism often turn to masking in their attempt to fit in as more ‘neurotypical’ and feel greater social acceptance. However, this behavior is a short-term fix that ultimately leads to internal struggles, suppression of genuine emotions, exhaustion, and burnout. That’s why it’s so important for caregivers to be aware of the signs of masking, and learn ways to encourage more authenticity.
What Is Autism Masking?
Masking in autism occurs when autistic people suppress their natural behaviors in order to conform to social norms. Autistic people pick up on social cues by observing others in their life, as well as through media and entertainment. Autism masking can happen in almost any setting, such as copying kids at school or when spending time with family. While trying to conform happens with almost everybody, autism masking is different because it never feels comfortable, and even makes the situation worse. Examples of autism masking include:
- Mimicking facial expressions, ways of talking, styles of dress, and body movements
- Forced eye contact and acceptance of physical contact (as opposed to normal lack of eye contact and flinching)
- Conversing in new ways, for example, asking a lot of questions and avoiding talking about oneself
Causes of Masking
Just like there are many kinds of autistic behavior, there are also many reasons for masking. These can include:
Coping
Having friends, staying at a job, and wanting to experience the world as non-autistic people do
Escaping Discrimination
Dealing with bullying, outward signs of non-acceptance by other people, and the risk of being recognized as a person with autism
Accommodation
Not wanting to feel like they are making others uncomfortable and avoiding the double empathy problem (where autistic and non-autistic people experience trouble in communicating, even though they have good intentions)
Signs of Masking
Caretakers might be able to recognize when a person is masking their autism. The problem is that, when an autistic person alters their behavior, it can also come from an interest in trying something new. One way to find out if you are really seeing masking behavior is simply to ask; for instance:
“Have you tried to stop stimming, or are you stimming in a way that is new?” (Stimming is physically repetitive activity like hand flapping, repeating what someone else says (echolalia), and fidgeting)
“Did you enjoy the way that you talked with that person (a positive sign), or did you talk in a way that you did not like (a sign of masking)?”
“Why are you wearing that new piece of clothing/acting that way/trying this out?”
The Consequences of Masking Behavior
Over time, autistic people suffer serious consequences from masking. The stress, effort, and frustration of masking leads to shutdowns and meltdowns, particularly when they are in an environment where they feel safe to stop pretending. Long-term masking is a major factor in autistic burnout and other mental health challenges. Many autistic people have said that masking results in a loss of sense of self; this, combined with the struggle to form genuine connections with others, can put them at greater risk for abuse. In their attempt to fit in, a person with autism may even take part in illegal or immoral activities.
Unmasking: Support and Management Ideas
The best judge of recognizing masking behavior is the autistic person themselves. When a caregiver suspects masking, the first step is to make sure that their loved one takes a break from whatever situation is causing the behavior. This will give them a chance to recover from what is often an exhausting experience.
After that, it’s important to unmask safely and over time, with a focus on the autistic person accepting who they are and understanding that masking doesn’t help in the long run. These steps include:
Self-Help
Autistic people need to realize that they have a special condition and that there are no shortcuts to social acceptance. Instead, perhaps through a therapist, they should recognize what situations trigger them and how to deal with such situations in healthier ways.
Your Help
As a caregiver, you can act to address both physical and emotional challenges by, for example, creating a safe space for your loved one to relax from social stressors; mutually removing expectations about school/work/social performance that are causing problems; and commending them on their efforts to act naturally.
Community Help
Therapists, educational institutions, autism foundations, and simply spending time with other autistic people can all contribute to building a network of care that enables better approaches to social challenges.
Masking isn’t Inevitable
Autism masking is an unfortunate behavior, but there’s a bright side. It shows that your loved one is interested in being part of the world around them, and connecting with others. With the right guidance and knowledge, you can lead them along the path to greater self-acceptance and societal inclusion even as they feel more in touch with who they truly are.
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